


Close

by BadgerSigil



Series: After the Window [2]
Category: Age of Ultron - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4222164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadgerSigil/pseuds/BadgerSigil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Owe You One, Natasha and Bruce snuggling and talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close

Bruce opened his eyes and all at once was very aware of the closeness of someone, lying on his chest with her arms around him. At first it seemed so unreal that he found himself waiting for the dream to end. When it didn't he stared at Natasha, miraculous, face more relaxed than he had ever seen her. He wanted to reach out and touch the smooth space between her jaw and her ear as it glowed slightly in the light leaking through the little gap in the curtains. The glow fanned out in his vision, she was too close for his eyes to focus properly. He wanted to touch her face, examine the surface that his eyes could not. As it was, moving could wake her and that would be a disaster, because it had to be against some ancient and terrible law to wake someone so peaceful. He settled for watching her, feeling her slow breath ruffle the hair on his arm.

With her breathing body pressed up against his chest, Bruce felt clearer than he had for weeks. At times the constant battle between himself and the other guy filled his consciousness. With no relief and nothing but the sensation of clinging to control, it was hard to recall ever feeling as he did now. He was still there, of course. A tingling at the edge of his consciousness, a feeling right down in the pit of his stomach. An inescapable awareness. But with Natasha here, so close that it was difficult to tell whose arms were whose beneath the blanket, it was as if the other guy was a long way away.

Natasha stirred. Her eyes opened and she shifted comfortably.  
"Hey you." She said with a slow, sleepy smile. "How long have you been awake? He shrugged.  
"Not long enough." He did touch her face then. The corners of her mouth turned upwards as he did. Her skin was very smooth. The look in her eyes, slightly blurred, triggered something in his chest and suddenly all he wanted to do was kiss her.  
"Natasha." He said. Now was the time. "You are not a monster. You're the furthest thing there is." Her smile was gone.  
"Decide that just by looking?" She smiled again, but this time it was full of sadness.  
"I wanted to say it before and... I don't know, everything was too much I couldn't find the words."  
"Bruce... I've killed a lot of people." She let that hang in the air. Direct, to the point efficient, yet her eyes gazed off and down, uncomfortable and almost pained.  
"You're not a monster for what they made you." He said, suddenly stubborn. Suddenly willing to do anything to get rid of any measure of that pain. She just sighed and her hand was in his hair again. A tingling warmth rushed down his spine at her touch. His eyelids dipped without permission and he let out a slow breath.  
"I don't think you're a monster either." Natasha said after several minutes of the hair stroking that was robbing him of his power of speech. She smiled lazily, all at once comfortable again. "And hey so what if we are both monsters. I think once you save the whole world a few times that sort of thing doesn't matter so much."  
"Even if we did it reluctantly?" It came out. He didn’t mean it to, but the guilt had been simmering for so long it had been bound to hit its boiling point, especially in the face of so much love he didn’t -could never- deserve. Her face abruptly dropped from playful and contented into a deep frown. He wasn't used to her face moving so naturally.   
"Can you trust me again?" She couldn't meet his eyes. He grabbed at her back, lightly, compulsively, as if he could prevent her from drifting out of his reach merely by holding her.  
"Can you ever trust me?" He he said and laughed nervously. "I was going to run, Nat. Leave everyone."  
"We pushed you too hard." She ran a hand over his chest and played lightly with his shirt buttons. He caught her hand, gently. It wasn't soft as he'd expected from her touch. It was callused and strong. He closed his eyes briefly to summon the will to avoid that distraction.  
"Natasha. I can't." His voice caught slightly. He tried to tell her with his eyes that he wanted nothing else in the world.  
"I know. I wouldn't undress you without asking, Bruce." She squeezed his hand and rearranged herself a little. Her body was deceptively solid. He could feel the strength of her in the smallest of movements when she was this close, all that concentrated muscle mass that was almost undetectable ordinarily.

Natasha frowned a little now, just a tiny crease between her eyes. "I don't mean that you should, especially if you're not comfortable but... I'm just curious, don't answer if you don't want me to know. Have you tried?" A sudden fear, a small doubt came into his mind. Was she beating around the question because she was worried she would make him feel uncomfortable? He couldn’t bear the idea of her walking on eggshells. The idea of scaring Natasha ever again made his stomach burn with horror. Her look of absolute terror on the helicarrier while he fought the losing battle to maintain control called itself back into his mind. That single memory would have been enough to keep him away from her forever, and yet here they were. He laughed softly to reassure her, just in case, and ran his hand over her back, desperate for her to know that she was safe with him. This was why it should never work. This inescapable fact. He blew out a breath and closed his eyes. What had they been talking about? Oh, yeah, sex. His face got suddenly very hot.  
"Nat you know things about me more... personal than that."  
"Mm but you didn't exactly disclose that information willingly." He swallowed, but Natasha held him tightly and the shiver was gone almost immediately.  
"I love it when you talk spy to me." He said with a little half smile.  
"Too many long words for you Banner?" She smiled again, brighter than the sunlight spilling across her face.  
"I'm only a doctor after all." He gave her a little squeeze. "I haven't. Tried, that is." He said and sighed. "It seemed... beyond irresponsible. Not that I ever let anyone get close enough to think about it."  
"This close?" Natasha smiled mischievously up at him. Bruce groaned and kneaded his eyes with the heels of his hands.  
"Nat you need to remind me why this is a bad idea."  
"It's a bad idea?" She said innocently.  
"C'mon Nat let's just stay like this. Just for the moment. We don't need anything else."  
"No we don't. We don't... Need... Anything." She brushed his hair from his forehead. "I'm just happy to be this close."


End file.
